Like these marionettes behind Broadway reveals “Avenue Q” and “Lion King,” so will there be hidden forces pulling strings for Biden. They’ll manipulate every of his stumbles and rumbles to the following degree. It’ll be a candidate by committee.
The blueprint is Democratic puppet masters to control their front-runner, and get together execs to prep his speeches. Why? As a result of no matter he spits out on his personal is simply that — spit. He’ll name Iowa “Missouri.” His missus, Scotch taped to him just like the angel Gabriel, he as soon as launched as his “sister.”
A political EMS group is to prep every look, level him to the mike or males’s room, and draw photos upfront of who he’ll introduce. No exposing him to questions. Surrogates — a Hillary, an Obama, a Mrs. Obama — will accompany all appearances so he doesn’t flop over his personal poop.
The mission is to hold him over the road. A Saving Joe Biden group. And, after a restricted interval, whichever woman he picks for VP would possibly then — who is aware of — be working the US of America.
Thou shalt not asketh me how I do know. I’ve been whisperedeth to.
Time for laughs
Earth’s stalemated, however earthlings aren’t. Caroline Hirsch, of Carolines on Broadway, produced “Name Your Mom” about mamas and their comedian children. In it's Awkwafina, Judah Friedlander, Jim Gaffigan, Judy Gold, Tig Notaro, David Spade. It’s Comedy Central on Mom’s Day.
And Discovery Channel’s obtained a how/what/who-done-in Jeffrey Epstein program. Nice concept. Additionally proving its president, Henry Schleiff, was doing one thing this month in addition to raiding the fridge.
And the Paley Heart for Media is launching Paley Entrance Row, a brand new, unique sequence whereby present stars talk about their work, insights, anecdotes and etceteras. The primary, Hank Azaria and Amanda Peet, discuss up their IFC sequence “Brockmire.” Right now. At midday. Paley’s YouTube channel.
Sick state of deliveries
CV’s new shticks. A purse, purchased in a serious Florida division retailer in March, was despatched to NYC. By no means arrived. Offended, its purchaser referred to as the shop’s safety quantity, obtained the parcel’s precise monitoring quantity and instructed to telephone their “bother” workplace — in Texas. There, she discovered the shop had by no means despatched the factor out. One other. This decorator purchased stuff on-line. Upon arrival, he opened the field. His pleasure didn't final lengthy. The superbly marked, addressed and sealed field? Empty. Zero in it. Not even wrapping paper. One other. A Jersey businessman offers in clocks, TVs, cameras, telephones, small at-home tools. A caller requested a selected digital camera, lens and attachments. The order arrived. Days later, again got here its identical field, identical packing. Solely in it? His previous damaged, unusable digital camera and shattered lens. Having “returned” it, his cost card eliminated the cost.
Yet one more factor. With no appointments to make or preserve, homebound folks lose observe of time. A VIP referred to as me yesterday and requested, “What day is in the present day?”
Glitz and glamour
TV anchor Liz Claman: “I’m working from an in-home studio, making an attempt to keep away from the children continuously asking, ‘What’s for lunch?’ For my Fox Enterprise present, I throw a blazer over ripped yoga pants, stroll barefoot to an 80-inch TV monitor in my sunroom, and pray my canine Rosie doesn’t bark at some chook flapping by. I’m surviving overlooking the Hudson in Edgewater, NJ.”
Time’s approaching for the presidential political contest. However this one gained’t be robust and soiled. It’ll be well mannered. The candidates shall be required to put on masks, mouthpieces and metal cups.
And never solely in New York, children, solely in America.
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